2009-07-23

lately i don’t know what’s eating me

i’m easily disturbed by different things… i stare into space, i cry easily, i feel like blocking off the rest of the world. i didn’t want to believe anyone or anything. i doubt what i see or what i hear. god, i don’t even want to listen to my own thoughts…

ever had that feeling that you have this totally big problem but you can’t just pinpoint what it is? i do… that’s what i’m feeling now… and it’s definitely placing a stop in my life…

it’s as if i feel like everyone’s against me although i’m not fighting with anyone… i just feel like no matter how i put it, noone would understand me and that i am facing all these by myself… that if i open up to anyone, they’d just give me sermons about things that i already know but i cannot accept…

i hope this is just a phase. i try my best to be cheerful but i just can’t.. i don’t want to be pretentious. i show what i feel. it’s starting to bother the people around me but what can i do? i gues im just not meant to be happy..

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