2009-08-23

Let me tell you something important that you might have gotten mixed up inside your head as a woman in relationships with men who wouldn’t listen…
It’s OK to want what you want and to let a man know it. In fact, it’s a MUST. And it’s OK to tell a man that his behavior doesn’t match with what you want. For example, if a woman is honest and up front about what she wants and expects from a man, in a way that says that she’s not too attached to the immediate outcome, and she subtly lets him know that he better have his act together or else. It can turn the usual “teeth pulling” talk into an opportunity for building attraction and a deep source of commitment with a man. But remember…YOU CAN’T FAKE IT. You have to be in a place where you truly believe that you’ll find and meet your expectations for love and relationships, with or without the man who’s there in front of you right then. No matter how much you love him. That means you have to be in the right frame of mind, and state in your heart, BEFORE you start the conversation with him…But most women aren’t in the right frame of mind because they’re afraid, and they’ve “tricked” themselves into thinking that their intimate feelings for a man will scare him off.
WRONG.
It’s not honesty that will scare him off, it’s the negative, fearful and anxious “vibe” that you unknowingly give off before you finally EXPLODE because you can no longer hide how you feel from the man you’re with. That’s what scares some men off or makes
them clam up. The amazing thing is that men crave HONEST women who are up front about who they are and what they want in relationships. The key is to know the RIGHT WAY to communicate these things without going over the top. Remember, if you communicate with a man in a way that assumes, begs, convinces, or makes him
think that you’re “entitled” to a relationship and a commitment with him, he will NEVER, EVER respect you and want to stay for the long-term. You might get what you want in the short-term if he gives in to your wishes just to avoid a conflict, but trust me, you are headed for MUCH bigger problems in the future. Or worse, you’ll get what you want NOW, but he’s spent the past months – or even worse, YEARS – secretly SEETHING WITH RESENTMENT towards you.

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