2009-09-22

Rejection is a part of life. You know it, I know it. That doesn’t make it any easier when you are on the receiving end of it. Most times we take rejection personally. I think this is why a lot of people have trouble breaking up or telling a person they just are not interested, because they don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings.

The best thing you can do for a person, whether you’ve been in a relationship with them or they are interested in you but you aren’t interested in them is…. TO BE HONEST! “But the truth hurts and I don’t want to be mean”. That is true. A lot of times just saying how you feel or don’t feel can come off as heartless and cold, however stringing a person along is not only cruel, but selfish. Continuing on as if nothing is wrong or trying to ignore the problem will only make it worst and lead to the other person’s feelings being hurt even more.

Personally I like the straight forward approach. As I said before just be honest, with the other person and with yourself. I find this to be the hardest part. Many times when we interact with people we lie to ourselves, causing us to lie to others. Being honest with yourself is the first step to managing any relationship.

Again be honest with the person and tell them “it is you”. You don’t have to be mean about it but be firm and explain why whatever it is bothers you, then, and this is the most important part, stick to your decision. Don’t invite the person to hang out with you or come over to watch a movie. Once you have decided not to have anything to do with this person make sure you make that known. Spending time with them just sends mixed signals and will leads to more headaches on both parts.

Lastly, if you have decided to reject someone, do it to their face. Rejecting someone over the phone or texting them leaves too much to the imagination. In person they can see your facial expression and your body language which tell far more than your words ever will. Rejecting someone in person can be scary, but if you remember to hold your ground, you will get through it. When it is all said and done, the other person will respect you for facing them and not texting them and / or calling them on the phone.

I’ve had my share of rejections, giving and taking. I had someone who was interested in me and I flat out said “I’m not into you, I think you should look for someone else”. At the time they were upset and even stopped talking to me. Later on they actually thanked me for being up front and not wasting their time. Of course not everyone will react that way, but in the long run it is just easier to say what’s on your mind. It saves a lot of time and energy.

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