2009-09

The love of your life has cheated on you and you caught him or her. You feel as if every oz. of strength that you had has been drained from your body. What are you going to do now? He or she has come back to you and told you that you are the only person that they will every love. Do you take them back and forgive them for what they have done to you?

Be realistic. Can you forgive him or her? Know that it is one of the hardest things to do. There will always be that area of your brain that tells you that if they are 15 minutes late for a dinner, is he cheating on me again. Trust once lost is a hard thing to rebuild. It may take years to get back that trust and you have to decide if you want to live your life rebuilding that trust.

A person can cause emotional uproar in your life, however if you truly love him or her and want the relationship to work and you decide that you are willing to forgive, than that is what you do. You forgive them for what they did to you.

Trust once lost is such a hard thing to get back. It may take years to return and it may take a lifetime before you realize that it has never returned. You both have to be committed to work on your relationship, it cannot be one-sided, or it will never work out.

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Rejection is a part of life. You know it, I know it. That doesn’t make it any easier when you are on the receiving end of it. Most times we take rejection personally. I think this is why a lot of people have trouble breaking up or telling a person they just are not interested, because they don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings.

The best thing you can do for a person, whether you’ve been in a relationship with them or they are interested in you but you aren’t interested in them is…. TO BE HONEST! “But the truth hurts and I don’t want to be mean”. That is true. A lot of times just saying how you feel or don’t feel can come off as heartless and cold, however stringing a person along is not only cruel, but selfish. Continuing on as if nothing is wrong or trying to ignore the problem will only make it worst and lead to the other person’s feelings being hurt even more.

Personally I like the straight forward approach. As I said before just be honest, with the other person and with yourself. I find this to be the hardest part. Many times when we interact with people we lie to ourselves, causing us to lie to others. Being honest with yourself is the first step to managing any relationship.

Again be honest with the person and tell them “it is you”. You don’t have to be mean about it but be firm and explain why whatever it is bothers you, then, and this is the most important part, stick to your decision. Don’t invite the person to hang out with you or come over to watch a movie. Once you have decided not to have anything to do with this person make sure you make that known. Spending time with them just sends mixed signals and will leads to more headaches on both parts.

Lastly, if you have decided to reject someone, do it to their face. Rejecting someone over the phone or texting them leaves too much to the imagination. In person they can see your facial expression and your body language which tell far more than your words ever will. Rejecting someone in person can be scary, but if you remember to hold your ground, you will get through it. When it is all said and done, the other person will respect you for facing them and not texting them and / or calling them on the phone.

I’ve had my share of rejections, giving and taking. I had someone who was interested in me and I flat out said “I’m not into you, I think you should look for someone else”. At the time they were upset and even stopped talking to me. Later on they actually thanked me for being up front and not wasting their time. Of course not everyone will react that way, but in the long run it is just easier to say what’s on your mind. It saves a lot of time and energy.

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Dining out should be a delightful experience for you and for guests seated around you. Here are some guidelines for how to behave when your out in public eating.
Be polite to your server. Understand that this person is serving you a meal and this is their job. Treat the individual who stands before you with some respect. Waiters and waitresses have a very difficult job and it doesn’t matter who you think you are, you must remember that this person is a human being trying to make a living.
Have some dignity and respect for the people who are dining around you. If by nature you have an incredibly loud mouth this should be the time when you tone it down considerably. The guests that come out to a restaurant are all looking to have a quiet and enjoyable dinner, people around you do not want to hear your entire conversation. Keep this in mind, as intriguing as you may like to think your story sounds to you…it is meant to be shared between you and your own table when dining out in public.
The next step to dining etiquette is to act like an adult. The time that you have to go out to a nice dinner should be respected even as if you were in your own home. The plus of dining out is that the meal is served to you and you do not have to clean up, however, this is not a free ticket for you to act like you are dining in a pig pen. Keep the food on your table and on your plate. Trashing your dining area is a complete disaster to clean up for anyone waiting on your table.
And lastly, as you sit there and enjoy your meal there are aspects of eating that should never be displayed in a restaurant.
1. NEVER ever burp out loud at a table. (this one applies to anywhere..anytime)
2. Do not sit there and chump away with your mouth open. (no one wants to see this display of half eaten food)
3. If you would like to share a piece of your dish do so casually. (do not sit there and vigorously shake the fork until the slab of meat falls off)
4. Make sure that you tip properly. (this is very important, some think tipping is optional … it’s not!)

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